Which Mattress is Best for Sex?
A Google search of this question yields over 42 MILLION search results.
Like most anything else mattress related there is no shortage of mattress companies and review sites positioning their mattress as the best for sex.
But like most anything we do here at Gardner’s Mattress & More we are going to suggest you find the best fit for the both of you. And not a one size fits all approach.
Imagine if you and your partner took that one size fits all approach to sex - you’d likely be searching for “the best mattress for recently divorced couples after years of no fun and fulfillment in the bedroom!”
Most know that a healthy sex life in the bedroom with the person you love is meant to be fulfilling so beyond the act of procreation I’ll look to give you some pointers here from our perspective gleaned after 20 years of answering the question “is this mattress good, you know, for…"
- Boom boom
- Doing it
- OTHER bedroom activities
Whatever you call "IT" (as in sex) here a handful of points to consider.
Positions you both enjoy when one is behind the other.
When you concentrate all of your weight through your knees, some all foam-type mattresses sink under the pressure of focused weight. This sinking-in aspect can change your normal angles and enjoyment so be sure to give that some consideration when selecting a new mattress for yourselves.
Suggestion - Line up some all-foam pillows or a topper at home, and position yourselves on your bed accordingly, see how that changes up your angles. This exercise will mimic a softer mattress. Conversely if you're looking for something with firmer support then what you have now maybe try out these positions on the floor. Consider your balance and the change in how your bodies reacts to one another.
Positions from the side of the bed.
Consider the height and the points of connection between you and your partner. Again, angles are important as is what you need to do to achieve them. Hunching over or standing on your tippy toes to achieve the moments of bliss you both enjoy isn’t exactly fun. As a young couple it might be fun to say the sex was so vigorous that you pulled a hammy or threw out your back but as you age ain’t nobody got time for that. Structurally you might also consider do you hold up your partner or does the mattress? If it’s the mattress’s job be sure to find something with stable and sturdy edge support.
Suggestion - Line up your positions from the side of the bed and note where the edge of the bed sits at your upper thigh or other points on your body so you can casually and discreetly measure and compare in the store. Sit on the edge of the bed. Lay to the side of the bed so you can best ascertain the level of support each mattress offers to you for your preferred bedroom activities.
Positions on Top of the Other - The Impact Zone.
Some mattresses have so much cushioning that you and your partner have to work extra hard through the thrusting to cross the goal line. The act of sex should be enjoyable and working up a sweat should come from passion and not all-out exertion. Typically speaking an all-foam mattress will create an utterly dead zone where your partners’ hips have sunk into the vortex of doom whereby only the most steadfast of lovers can persevere, but at what cost to the both of you?
Coil springs function best in the impact zone, as the simple physics of springs are your friend here. Force down, equals force back up - a coil spring helps you have sex and you take advantage of what some call the “double pump.” But alas, this effect is only maximized on the firmest gauge coil spring with connected wire which means it may not be the comfortable mattress. But with anything, there is a balance to be found, because you do of course have to also sleep comfortably on your mattress.
Suggestion - Do your homework here, really think about the final moments and where your time together ends. Maybe the impact zone isn’t important to you based on your favorite positions, maybe it is. But consider it and put it in the back of your mind when you shop. Pay attention to how far your hips sink into a mattress on their own. Think about how far you sink presently on your own at home and mentally compare when shopping. At the end of the day, this is a fair and important question to ask of the person helping you shop for a mattress. It is an adult activity. But unless you’ve involved the sales associate in front of you in your bedroom (not an extension of an offer!) they can’t possibly have the right answer. Think about the few points made above and others that are important to you and translate them to the mattress when you shop.
An alternate consideration, the boom boom room!
And if all else fails consider your guest bedroom or alternate space in the home as the place for sex. Set it up as a true room that takes into account the actions of sex and sex alone. Then find and invest in the perfect fit with a new mattress in your bedroom primarily for sleeping.
A word of suggestion for the benefit and mutual respect of all involved.
Sex is a perfectly normal activity for adult couples to partake in. But please remember the salesperson in the store or on a chat line may not be all that comfortable with the conversation. They may in fact have some trauma in their past or simply prefer to keep quiet on the topic. They are in the position of helping customers but some topics they feel helpless about, wish to not discuss, or simply are unable to address for a myriad of personal reasons. As with anything in life mutual respect and respect of the situation are key. Read the room, if the person in front of you responds with negative body language and a bright red embarrassed face, back off. This article in no way gives anyone permission to approach this topic without respect and regard to others space and privacy.
Instead simply ask for some time to be alone with the mattress so you can compare discreetly the homework you completed at home and have the private conservations you both need to have in order to make this part of your mattress buying process complete.